


Selfish

by LittleLinor



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
Genre: (The KILL THEM 8th day chaos path), Bloodplay, Chaos Path, M/M, Post-Canon, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 07:56:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16950060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLinor/pseuds/LittleLinor
Summary: No matter how hard Kazuya tries, Atsuro comes back





	Selfish

He shouldn’t have come back. Somehow, clinging with all his will to the last of his humanity, Kazuya had managed to just let him go, put out his coldest front and finally cross the line that would make Atsuro stop trying and leave, and he’d managed it, he’d  _done_  it, had watched him walk out towards better things without crying, without breaking, without giving in to the instinct whispering under his skin (he is a demon, he is their saviour, he is  _King_ , and he should just take what is already his).

He’d had no doubts that any trace of his humanity would leave with him, but it was worth it, to protect this last precious thing, this last untarnishable fragment of love and hope and loyalty, that he’d already smeared much, much too much with his dirty hands and dirtier heart. If Atsuro was safe… if Atsuro was safe, maybe there could still be something right with the world, even something small, and it didn’t matter if he lost the last thing that kept him human in the process.

It would numb the pain.

But he was back now, and it dawned on him that he’d finally become the monster people saw him as, because instead of turning him down and breaking his delusions (what was left of him, really, to be called out to, to be loved or given loyalty) he’d selfishly let himself give in and hold him again, hold and kiss and feed on his presence, give in to the hunger he knows will never completely be sated.

(“I know you’re still there,” Atsuro said. “I made my choice long ago. Don’t take that away from me too.”)

And maybe he was right, after all, maybe he hasn’t changed that much, because Atsuro is still his greatest weakness, one of the two people he would have given anything to protect (Yuzu is safely away from him, at least), and he can’t refuse him, he can’t, not when he’s standing right there and every thrumming emotion in Kazuya’s body is screaming to  _hold_  him,  _keep_  him,  _make him his_  before he disappears.

And maybe a small part of him was still trying to fight, because even as he takes Atsuro in his arms the full extent of his demon form comes out, the horns on his head, the sharpness of his teeth, the heavy, immaterial wings spread across his back, but Atsuro doesn’t even flinch, not even as manifestations of Kazuya’s will take hold of him and hold him exposed, open, arms spread out and body constricted, just sighs in what sounds like relief and  _welcomes_  him.

He’s got him, now, not just giving in but  _reaching out_ , like he always did, even when Kazuya makes him cry out and bleed, even when he curls around him with gentle, possessive caresses. Kazuya just can’t let go of him, this light that willingly sunk into darkness to follow him, wants to taste every aspect of him, his pain, his pleasure, the blazing, blinding brightness of his humanity. Atsuro in his arms is life, beautiful and terrible, and when Atsuro looks at him with eyes so forgiving that he might almost forgive himself, he can remind himself that because of this, because of his own darkness, despite all odds they’re still alive.

He kisses him, as Atsuro’s body trembles in his arms and combs a tender hand through his hair (did he know? Did he know, that Kazuya’s heart clung to him like a lifeline, reminding itself that love, love had been the reason he’d done all this and given up on being human, because he would have walked into darkness before he saw those he loved killed or enslaved), and Kazuya tells himself, desperately, that selfishness is human too.


End file.
